Gut Check! by Kevin Rail "Stupidophilus Yogurt" (June.08)

Guess what time it is? Well, yes it is Gut Check time, but it is also the time of year that all the dairy companies spanning the globe come together in harmonious union with all sorts of fancy advertisements and special deals telling you how much calcium their cheese has, how much Vitamin D their milk has, and how much acidophilus their yogurt has. This is all due in part to arguably my favorite month of the year…No, I’m not referring to June, and I’m talking about National Dairy Month. Whoooooooohoo!!! I even decided to capitalize it. I find it only fitting being that the National Dairy Council capitalizes their name, and they also conveniently capitalize on your hard earned dollars every chance they get, so it makes sense.

In this edition, I am going to pay particular attention to this malleable, half liquid/half solid substance known as yogurt. Suffice it to say, this is probably one of the most popular breakfast and snack choices sitting proudly on refrigerator shelves across America today. It is definitely one of the most heavily marketed and it always seems to be on sale; buy one get one free, ten for ten bucks, three for the price of two, etc. That’s great. But there’s one big problem. What difference does it make if the yogurt has a zillion units of acidophilus in it? Instead of dying from a bowel infection, you’ll die from a brain tumor caused by the artificial colors, sweeteners, and flavors. I’m sorry, but it’s not within my scope of employment to lie, so I need to lay down the facts with you. I’m just being honest. I’ll explain later on when we take a Trip Down the Aisle.

As I mentioned in the past, when you find yourself face to face with the nice big advertisement on the end cap of the aisle touting the benefits of the low-fat version that only has 100 calories per cup, walk right past it and nobody will get hurt. Instead go right to the back of the cup and fix your gaze on the ingredient label. This is where all the duping takes place. Regardless if it is low fat, no fat, high fiber, or no fiber at all, I would be willing to bet it has some form of foreign substance in it. If you happen to see high fructose corn syrup or any color accompanied with a number in the ingredient label, then throw it against the closest wall in the supermarket immediately and run like hell! But before you leave the crime scene, make sure you pick up a couple cups of organic/all natural yogurt with no chemicals or catastrophes inside. I’m not sure if I mentioned this in the past, but in case I didn’t allow me to now. The only colors that you should voluntarily put in your mouth are oranges, peaches, and greens. They all happen to carry dual roles as colors and actual names of fruits and vegetables too. How much more obvious can that be?

Before I go any further, there is something that I need to address. For some reason, whenever I hear the word yogurt, I think of yoga. How can you blame me? The words have relevance to each other. The interesting thing is that the female participant of yoga is called a yogini and the male is called a yogi. So what do you call the female and male yogurt eaters, a yogurta and yogurti?

Ok, let’s get back to planet serious. Do you even know why you are eating yogurt? There are some people who eat it because it has a lot of acidophilus. That is a very good reason. But do you even know what that is? It is a strain of what has come to be known as probiotics which are the good bacteria in the stomach. This is the alter ego of antibiotics. That is why it is often times recommended to eat yogurt after you do a run of antibiotics to put back the “good” bacteria in the stomach. That is “good” advice. Antibiotics take no prisoners. They destroy everything in their path; the bad bacteria, the good bacteria, and the so called infection that your body has acquired. I just want you to know, probiotics are measured in parts per billion. Honestly, other than Stonyfield Farms who weigh in at about 5 billion, you would probably have to become a professional yogurt eater to get any effect from the active cultures. Just a side note; you will see me use words like active cultures, probiotics, and flora interchangeably. Don’t get scared and all red; they all play for the same team. If you’re looking for a lot of probiotics, then I suggest getting them from an actual probiotic formula. A really good one is from a company called Bio-K Plus—a yogurt consistency product that weighs in on the bacteria scale at a measly 50 billion parts. Not too shabby huh? Now that’s called bang for your buck.

I now need to shift my attention. If you are eating yogurt because you like the taste or because it is a quick easy meal and you could care less about how much bulgaricus it has, then we need to talk. Chances are you are worried about the sugar, the fat, the carbs, and the calories. Can I tell you a secret? You are putting way too much undo stress on your sympathetic nervous system. You’ll sooner die of a stress induced heart attack then you will a stomach virus. The only thing you should be concerning yourself with is the ingredients. I would be willing to bet the fattiest, most calorie dense single serving cup of yogurt would only come to about 230 calories. Heck, there are more calories in your chai mocha latte! The way I see it, the more fat the better when it comes to yogurt. It makes sense. When it starts getting processed to lower the fat and calories, a lot of the other nutrients get sacrificed as well; the vitamin D, the calcium, etc. This is a similar process that bread goes through like I mentioned last month. If you’re going to eat yogurt, I say always go for the high-fat model. If calorie cutting is your game, then just eat less, throw in some fruit as a calorie substitute, and exercise more! It’s all nutrient dense calories, so it makes no big difference. As an added benefit, yogurt is also low on the glycemic index. If you’re looking to keep your blood sugar from spiking through the roof, then yogurt is your hook-up.

You just got out of the movies. It’s about midnight, and you realized you are out of yogurt. Uhhh! What do I do? The first thing you do is not panic. Albertson’s is open 24 hours. Yes, you’re in luck. So you walk on in there excitedly skipping down the dairy section like Peter Cottontail on Easter zeroing in your prey. You see this big sale going on; “Buy ten cups of Yoplait Light for ten dollars!” You think to yourself, “Wow, what a bargain!” So you greedily start shoveling these 100 calorie concoctions of contaminated chaos into your basket at a fever pitch…Hold it right there!!! I need you to stop and come to your senses. Remember the rules. Always go to the ingredient labels first. Here’s exactly what I am talking about…

Look closely at the pictures below. You see the nice, fancy, pretty packaging in the front telling you that this yogurt is 99% fat free. Oh goody! But not a word is said about what is waiting for you in the ingredient label. Look really closely right about in the center of the label. How does a nice dose of stealthfully placed high fructose corn syrup sound? It sounds a lot like fraudulent bunk to me. It is also going to be grounds for summons on the firing squad when the Lean Berets get a hold of this stuff.

Ingredients #3 & #5 are added sugar? Why?
GUT CHECK!
We do NOT need more added sugar in our food for optimal health!

I’m not trying to stop you from eating yogurt. I just want you to be more aware of the big picture. You are more often than not being fooled and you don’t even know it. So when you encounter this situation in the grocery store, after you have thrown the nasty stuff against the wall like I instructed earlier, fill up your basket with some Stonyfield Farms, Cascade Fresh which is fruit juice sweetened, Silk Soy if you happen to be a vegan, or some Wallaby’s. These are the freedom fighters of dairy! They are on your side AND on mine. Try out their stuff, support them when you can, and write to them and tell them the Lean Berets sent you. Or you can call them; it’s a free country.

Yogurt Berry Mish Mash: 1 container of low fat vanilla yogurt, 1/2 cup of blueberries (frozen is fine), ½ a banana chopped up, 1 tbsp of sunflower seeds, and ½ scoop of Protein powder. You can also replace regular yogurt with soy yogurt if you’re lactose intolerant or are a vegan. It’s very yummy! Approx. 335 kcals.

This meal is quick and delicious. You will notice that I have used low-fat yogurt in the recipe. This is because I designed this recipe for a friend who was on a very specific calorie agenda. I always aim to please. If you went with a whole fat version, you’re probably talking about 350 kcals. Another thing I’d like to mention is I happen to really like hemp protein powder. I feel it is the most bioavailable of all proteins and it has a lot of fiber unlike any other protein. I’ll talk more about this in a future Gut Check.

Wow how time flies? I’m going to have to call this game due to laziness, ah…I mean darkness. So let me give you a final Beret-kdown from today’s workout: Try to go with the high-fat version of yogurt when applicable. If you can’t find it or you still want to go with a non-fat or low-fat version, that’s totally fine. Just make sure to ALWAYS consult with your ingredient label first. If the front of the container lies to you about how healthy it is and you find bunk in the ingredients, commence firing!!!

Keep your ear really close to the record player next month as we tap into the wonderful world of Sports Drinks.