Gut Check! by Kevin Rail "Soda BOMB!" (May.08)

“Soda pop soda pop, oh soda soda pop. Soda pop soda pop oh soda soda pop.” Sing along if you know the words, “Soda pop soda pop, oh soda soda soda POP (enter popping sound effect here)…Ba bome bome bome...” Or should I say BOMB!? Hhhhhhh. I’m not going to lie to you. This is definitely not a smart choice of beverages. Honestly people, I can’t think of a more destructive, disgusting, worthless, over consumed, nutrition less collection of liquid molecules. There are absolutely no redeeming qualities about it whatsoever. It has high fructose corn syrup, artificial colors, artificial flavors, and carbon dioxide. The diet version is even worse. It doesn’t have high fructose, but it does have artificial sweeteners that are more deadly than sugar. Yuck. And now, the genius marketing gurus are trying to mask all of this by adding antioxidants into it. Ugh! Do I look like a sheep? No? Neither do you. If you want antioxidants, then drink goji juice and eat berries. If you have to have soda, go to your closest health food store and look for healthy alternatives. I’ll elaborate more in the Trip Down the Aisle later on.

No matter how hard you try, you cannot outrun it. You see it in stores, malls, movie theaters, social functions, family outings, holiday parties, fund raisers, vending machines, schools, AND, the worst of the worst and the one that twists my stomach into knots more than anything else, freaking' gyms. That my friend, is where I draw the line; with the thickest, blackest, fattest, magic marker that was ever created, and I’ve seen some pretty big ones in my day. Hold on a second; let me catch my breath…Huh, huh, huh. Wooh, I said a lot of words in a short period of time…

It doesn’t take an aeronautical scientist to see that the word “Soda” above is misshapen and slightly fat. This is exactly what will happen if you find yourself imbibing this effervescent beverage on a regular basis. As a matter of fact, it can actually make you very fat if you drink it in copious amounts. But hey, I’m probably not telling you anything you don’t already know right? Whether I am or whether I’m not, pull up a chair or better yet, stand on one foot on a balance disk and read on…

Did you know that soda has zero grams of fat? That’s right. That is the main reason why I use to busy my diet up with this stuff every day of every week for years. I can remember drinking those .32 cent 32 oz. cups of soda from the Convenient Mart many a late night on my drive home from Elby’s Restaurant where I worked as a short order cook and bus boy. Nevertheless, with one hand clenched tightly around that big ass cup and the other one greedily fidgeting through a box of fresh donut holes, I felt like the undisputed champion of the world. And in a way, I was…The champion of stupidity that is. Not to mention, that was a long time ago. So, don’t you even think of playing the “you’re a hypocrite” card on me.

Sure, it was fun while it lasted, but one day, the empire came crashing down. I was duped by the low fat/no fat diet. As a matter of fact, there was a pretty good span of time back in my mid twenties where this was a religion to me. If the label on a product said “Low fat” or “No Fat,” I would shovel it in my mouth and swallow it. To me, soda was the say-all-do-all of this UN-common sense approach to dieting. From a health stand point; there is not one redeeming quality about it. As I mentioned above in case you were nodding off at the wheel, it’s loaded with sugar, high fructose corn syrup, artificial colors, artificial flavors…ewwww yes! Mmm Bop just came over my downloads! Sorry to disrupt your concentration. Now where was I? Oh yeah, it also has carbon dioxide, caffeine (unless it’s crisp and clean), high calories, and it’s very acidic. As a matter of another fact, if you happen to have some tough stains in your toilet bowl that just won’t come out, try throwing a little of your favorite cola in there and watch the magic happen. Or if your car is in need of a new paint job and you want to strip the old paint away then feel free to dowse it with Pepsi on a hot, summer day. You think I’m lying? Give it a try and see for yourself. I ’m fairly certain that you can most likely power wash your engine to clean off all that built up grease and gunk as well. It makes sense.

Man alive, you don’t know how bad I want to curse right now!!! This stuff is also one of the leading causes for the obesity epidemic. Heck, I know some people who drink two liters a frigggin' day! Do you know how much sugar that is? It’s a hell of a lot. You know what; I’m going to figure it out for you right now. Let’s say you drink one can of soda a day. OK, now get a sugar bowl, an empty cereal bowl and a teaspoon. Start shoveling; when you get to SEVEN, you can stop. Take a good, hard, long look at it. That is how much sugar you ingest when you drink one can of soda. Yes, 1 CAN!!! Every 4g of sugar in a beverage equals 1 tsp. of sugar. There are five and a half cans of soda in a 2 liter bottle. So if you fall into the two liter a day group, you are taking in approx. 40 teaspoons of sugar a day. My heart is beating out of my chest just thinking the thought. So if this substance has this much potential for disaster, why in the world would you want to allow it to course through your arteries.

Don’t even think for a split second that diet soda is good for you either. Heck, arguably, it is worse! Other than the sugar, all the rest of the above ingredients are the same except for the fact that it has artificial sweetener in it. It may not have calories, but it has tumor inducing chemicals that in my opinion are not substantiated no matter how much FDA approval they receive. Stay away. Stay FAR away!!!

Are you ready? OK, let’s go shopping. As much as I’m against soda, I know that a lot of you just have to drink it and life will cease to exist if you can’t have at least a little. That’s cool. I am going to give you some suggestions to feed your soda need that I hope you will find helpful.

As I mentioned a long time ago, there is a fine collection of healthy alternatives to your everyday poisonous potions lining refrigerator shelves nationwide. One of which is a company that I promote the heck out of. They are called Steaz. They have a great selection of organic soda, energy drinks, and my personal favorite, diet sparkling green tea. Black cherry is de-lish, it happens to be my fave and it has a measly 60 calories per 12 oz. bottle. It tastes like soda and looks like soda, but without all the destructive properties of its adversary. How can you go wrong?

Here is another suggestion I’d like to throw past you. Get yourself some sparkling water, and some goji juice, pomegranate juice, or blueberry juice. You can also use concentrates or extracts. (See below for some cool websites to check out).

Take a shot glassful and mix it in with the sparkling water. You and your taste buds will be pleasantly surprised and delighted at how resemblatory it is to soda, except with cooler flavors! Not to mention, you will also be getting a nice helping of antioxidants. Speaking of which, as I alluded to earlier, be very cautious of the marketing gurus trying to mask all their dirty laundry by adding antioxidants to their soda. The actual names slip my mind at this time, just be mindful not to fall into any consumer traps. I think all the major companies now have their hands in this insidious game, so you probably don’t have to look too far to find them.

This is a no brainer. Get yourself a bottle of San Pellegrino Mineral Water. Pour about 10 ounces into a glass. Then throw in a shot glass (or two) of blueberry juice. Do this right after you get done cutting the grass on a hot summer day, sit back in your hammock and plan on being refreshed! Approx. 40-60 kcals.

What are we walking away from the table with today? Well, regardless if you drink the high test, high caffeine, no caffeine, diet, or antioxidant variety (what a joke that is), it is still soda. It is as worthless as a comb to a hairless yak and if you are lucky enough to escape the clutches of a fatty or cirrhotic liver from the high fructose corn syrup, then hopefully you can dodge the brain tumors from the aspartame and artificial sweeteners in the diet version as well. One closing note about the diet version; one thing that I never understood was washing down a banana split supreme with a diet soda. In most of life’s situations, I live by the statement “always bother.” But this is an exception to that rule. If you are going to eat a fat laden, decadent desert well in excess of one thousand calories, what’s another 150 going to matter? Damn…also remember that liquid calories are still calories. They can add up fast and sneak up on you like a Green Beret in the middle of a desert. Don’t get fooled.

Be sure to stay tuned next month as we celebrate national dairy month. I am going to step into the wonderful world of a malleable substance that everybody loves…YOGURT. Yes, I can’t wait!

On that note, take care of yourself, be good to your body, and remember, fear is overrated!

Coach RJ Comments: I agree with Kevin. Sodas are crap. Once in a while won't kill you, but NO regular or diet sodas are ever going to help you (exceptions are below). Recently, American College of Sports Medicine published these diet soda updates. You might want to check them out, then like Kevin said, stay FAR away from them! (ACSM Fit Society Page-Winter.07)

Comrades in Arms A+ Approval Rating

Steaz Health Beverages

POM

Wymans Blueberries

Pellegrino Water Review